Book Excerpt from Chapter 4 “Date Wisely.”

"Each woman has her own way of handling dating, courtship, and relationships. Each of us has made our own mistakes while on the road to everlasting love, emotional security, and true happiness. We have also learned our own lessons that have made us stronger, wiser, and better equipped to handle the emotional whirlwind of a relationship the next time around. It is time to identify the mistakes that we as women commonly make in relationships, as well as our natural strengths and advantages that we bring into each of our relationships. If we do this, dating and falling in love might actually become exciting instead of an exercise in self-doubt, confusion, and constant analysis. (“What is he thinking?” “What did he really mean by that?” “Is he thinking what I am?”)

Dating and falling in love are supposed to be fun! Yet sometimes I get the feeling we are working so hard to make it fit into some ideal scenario we’ve created in our minds as to how the perfect relationship should unfold that we miss all the fun along the way. Going with the flow might be a little scary at times, like a roller coaster. But it also might be the most thrilling ride of your life because it is not entirely under your control. The best you can do is climb into the coaster, pull the safety bar down, take a deep breath, and go where the ride takes you.

But instead, many women’s experience of dating and falling in love is a different fantasy. They have imagined it forever, mapped out all the details of their perfect man, how they will fall in love, how the courtship will play out, and every detail of the proposal and wedding, right down to the table centerpieces at the reception. Inevitably, life does not play out anything like you have planned, especially in relationships, where a whole other person is involved.

When women finally accept the fact that we cannot control every last detail of our relationships, most of us have the good sense to accept it, move forward, and enjoy the ride. Some women, however, make a less healthy choice. Unwilling to believe that they cannot completely control the relationship, they try to mold it and shape it into their fantasy."